Humour
Wife: There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.
Husband: Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous.
Wife: I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.
Husband: You don't even know what a carburettor is. Where's the car?
Wife: In the swimming pool.
••••••••••
`How's the work going,' Grandfather asked.
`Fine,' was the reply. `And the social life?'
`I get lots of dates,' replied the young man, `if I don't tell the girls my age.'
`I understand,' said the youthful-looking seventy-year-old widower. `I have the same problem.'
`My poor husband,' said the lady to her psychoanalyst, dragging her husband behind her. `He's convinced he's a parking meter.' The analyst looked at the silent, morbid fellow and asked, `Why doesn't he say something for himself? Can't he talk?
`How can he,' said the lady, `with all those coins in his mouth?'
••••••••••
`Listen,' shouted a big man through the telephone box to a little man inside, `You've been holding that phone for nearly twenty-five minutes and not said a single word.'
`Sir,' said the little man, `I'm talking to my wife!'
Little Munni: Auntie, why do you put that powder on your face?
Auntie: To make myself look pretty.
Little Munni: Then why doesn't it work?
`The thrill is gone from my marriage,' Alan told his friend Don.
`Why not add some intrigue to your life…like have an affair?' Don suggested.
`But what if my wife finds out?'
`Heck, this is the twenty-first century, Alan. Go ahead and tell her about it!'
So Alan went home and said, `Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.'
`Forget it,' his wife replied unperturbed, I've tried but it never worked.'
How's the new patient feeling?' the doctor asked the nurse.
`Oh, he's much better,' she replied. `He started talking this morning.'
`What did he say?'
`He said he was feeling much worse.'
- Kamal Kant Jaswal