Humour

The small boy asks, ‘Daddy, are you still growing?’

‘No, son, what makes you think so?’

‘Because the top of your head is coming through your hair.’


Two friends meet in the street one day. ‘Well,’ said one, ‘So you’re married at last. My congratulations. I heard you

have an excellent and accomplished wife.’

‘ I do, indeed,’ was the reply. ‘Why she’s perfectly at home in science, in arts, in commerce, in short, she’s at home everywhere, except…’

‘Except what?’ questioned his friend.

‘Except at home,’ was the reply.


Little Ernie is doing his homework one evening and has a problem.

‘Dad,’ he says, ‘What is the difference between “anger” and “exasperation”?’

‘Well, son,’ says his father, ‘I will give you a practical demonstration.’

His father then goes to the phone and dials a random number.

‘Hello,’ comes a voice at the other end.

‘Hello,’ says Ernie’s father. ‘Is Melvin there?’

‘There is no one called Melvin here!’ comes the reply. ‘Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial

them?’

‘You see?’ says Ernie’s father. ‘That man was not at all happy with our call. But watch this!’

He then dials the same number again, and says, ‘Hello, is Melvin there?’

‘Now look here!’ comes the angry reply. ‘I told you there is no Melvin here! You have got a lot of nerve calling

again!’ And then he slams down the receiver.

‘Did you hear that?’ asks Ernie’s father. ‘That was “anger”. Now, I will show you what “exasperation” is!’

He picks up the phone and dials the same number again, and when a violent voice shouts, ‘Hello!’ Ernie’s father

says, ‘Hello! This is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?’

April - June, 2010