The students of a college during the first year were often required to rise in class and say what their University meant to them. One day, a student rose to his feet and announced, rather nervously: My brother and I owe a lot to this University. You see, our parents met here!'
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`Darling, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.'
`Oh, dear, how quick you are at noticing things!'
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A man complained to his colleague, 'I have a severe headache and want some medicine to cure it.'
The colleague reassuringly remarked, `You don't need any medicine. I had a headache yesterday, and when I went home, my loving wife just kissed me and comforted me, and the pain was soon off. Why don't you try the same cure?'
`Yes. I think I will. Is your wife at home now?'
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VIPs in the disturbed country on the hit list had been sent an elaborate set of don'ts to elude terrorists on their trail. Of these the most important was not to follow a regular routine but vary their timings and change their habits as often as possible, e.g., don't go for your morning or evening walk at the same time to the same park, don't go to the same hotel or restaurant everyday, etc. To these precautions, a wit who knew the habits of politicians there, added, `Don't sleep in the same bed with the same person every night.'
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The lady of the house suspected that one of her two sons was paying attention to the maid. Anxious to find out which one, she said to the girl, `Gertie, suppose you could have a date with one of my sons, which would you prefer?'
`Well,' replied Gertie, `it's hard to say, Ma'am, for I've had some grand time with both of them. But for a real rollicking spree, give me the master.'
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Approaching a passerby, a beggar asked, `Sir, would you give me a hundred rupees for a cup of coffee?'
`That's ridiculous!' the man replied.
`Just a yes or no, fellow,' the beggar growled. `I don't need a lecture about how to run my business.'
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Our son asked if he could borrow some money to buy a car. The father explained that borrowing money is a bad habit. `Son, I got my first motorcycle when I was nineteen, and with my own money. I got my first car at twenty-four, and with my own money. And I got my second car when I got married, and with my own money.'
At this point the son interjected excitedly, `So there is no problem. This car would be with your own money as well.'
