Humour

A balloonist landed in a field and realizing he was lost, asked a passerby where he was.

`You're in the middle of a field in a hot-air balloon.'

`You must be an accountant,' said the balloonist.

`How did you know that?'

`Because your information is totally accurate and absolutely useless.'

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Question: Why do some testing labs prefer to use lawyers instead of mice?

Answer: Because there are more lawyers than mice, the scientists don't get as attached to the lawyers, and there are some things mice won't do.

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A busload of politicians was driving down a country road all going to the local constituency to battle out the coming elections. Suddenly, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what had happened, the old farmer rushed to the spot. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

The next day the local police came to the scene to investigate. They asked the old farmer. `You buried all of them, but were they all dead?'

The old farmer replied: `Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie!'

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A tiny tot sought admission to the junior branch of school on the strength of having an elder brother in the final year class in the same school. The elder brother had described the aspirant as his 'real brother'. When the little fellow appeared before the Interview Board and was questioned about the relationship, he replied, 'He is a distant relative.'

'How come you call him a distant relative when he says you are his real brother"' asked the Principal.

'Sir, there are nine brothers and sisters between him and me.'

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Husband and wife had just finished tucking the four young ones into bed one evening when they heard sounds of sobbing coming from three-year-old Ajay's room. Rushing to his side, they found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally swallowed a rupee coin and was sure he was going to die. No amount of reassurances to the contrary could change his mind.

Desperate to calm him, the husband secretly put a rupee coin that he happened to have in his pocket into his hand and pretended to pull it from Ajay's ear. Ajay was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from the husband's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully, `Do it again, Dad!'